The Dreaming Writer

It's not terribly often I have a dream that feels so real that I can recall each detail. And it is very rare that I decide to share these dreams outside of a tight circle of friends, even omitting some close to me. But this one I cannot keep inside. It has driven me insane from the moment it started, to even now. My mind has felt like it was breaking from the second I woke up.

The dream started strangely. It didn't play out like a usual one. Everything was black, and I heard a voice...

The first words I heard were, "There was once a little girl named Rachel..."

Everything was still blank, but then this scene... All black and white. This scruffy little girl with big, hungry eyes is there, holding a smaller girl close.

 

Then the voice said, "Rachel and her sister live in what would be under modern day America. The people under the earth have little ways to survive, unless they escape."

 

It showed Rachel and her sister with their parents, just as thin as the girls. The voice continued speaking... "It was not uncommon for people here to fall to illness and go mad with grief, despair, hunger, anything that really set them off."

Images of people with black spots where their eyes were, dropping down their cheeks as they attacked members of the village.

The voice explained that, eventually, Rachel's parents died trying to escape and Rachel became insane.

Rachel eventually no longer saw her little sister as another human being and gruesomely killed her. She cleaned her skull of flesh and organs, and cut off the girls arms. She cleaned the bones and jammed them into the skull.

 

She still called it by her sister's name.

 

The villagers were horrified by what she did, according to the voice, and they buried her alive.

 

...Even through that voice, I could hear Rachel screaming. Screaming for her mother, for her father, for God. 

 

The voice said, "Rachel's spirit drove the village to insanity, and eventually, they all killed each other off." It showed all of it. Their empty eyes dropping, the deaths, the murders, even cannibalism.

 

She continued... "Years later, after the dirt, mud, and rocks covered the bodies of the dead, a new settlement arrived. Citizens of Agartha, cast out of the nicest places. Convicts. They come from all over the globe, and eventually modernize, to an extent, the burial ground of Rachel's village."

It showed the city growing over the years.

 

Buildings, paved streets, even a cable car.

 

Politicians as well. But this is hardly a sign of civilization.

 

Then the voice introduced me to a family.

 

This tired woman, her brother, husband, and little girl.

 

The voice told me that this was Amanda's family, and it showed how everyone scraped and scrounged to make Amanda, the daughter, happy.

 

The voice said Amanda had a beautiful singing voice, and was their hope to get out of, what the rest of Agartha called, "Purgatory".

 

Then the voice grew darker as she spoke, "One day, however, Rachel's spirit saw Amanda. And she wanted to keep her for herself. So she caused the earth to shake as Amanda and her father were going to showcase her talent."

 

A serious of full color images flashed. Amanda, in a little blue flower print dress, holding a teddy bear, and her father holding her hand as he took her into the bigger part of the city.

 

Then the shaking of the ground, and how the streets cracked and collapsed into the mud, sinking rapidly.

 

Many citizens were caught in it.

 

Then, it was like someone hit the play button.

 

Amanda's mother ran to the edge, screaming for her husband and daughter.

 

Her husband pops his head out of the mud, and you see Amanda rise a few feet away. Before he can grab her, this fat man in a pinstripe suit grabs her up.

 

He says, "What a story this will make for the news! Politician saves little girl!"

 

Then his eyes go blank and he walks away from the crowd, toward where the mud is sinking away, then drops her in it.

 

The mud sinks a foot or two, and he grabs her up again, then repeats. The cable car rushes by and Amanda's mother is sure he'll save her.

 

The politician is then seen standing at the edge, trying to guide people out, his eyes back to normal.

 

 

As he guides them to tunnels, Amanda's mother looks back and sees Rachel's spirit, skull and bones of her sister, standing there, pulling Amanda out by her arm.

 

Amanda is screaming for her mother, and you see Rachel's sinister, sick smile.

 

Her mother screams, and everything goes black.

 

"Please don't leave, Rachel's story isn't over yet." Were the last words I heard before waking up.

 

It knew I was forcing myself awake. No other dream I have ever hard knew that I was trying to force myself awake. Not the exorcism dream, not the endless journey, not the climb, and surely not the dream with that boy.

This was also the only dream where I did not take some kind of form in the dream itself. I was just watching. It horrified me.

Part of me felt like I could have saved Amanda if I wanted to. But, nothing I did changed the dream. Usually, I can change my dreams very easily. Most creative people can. Especially those of us who play video games a lot. I remember begging the narrator to let me save them, but she acted like she could not hear me.

But, that was not the worst of it. Another part of me felt like, if I had saved Amanda...

Rachel would have taken me instead. This was the worst feeling I ever had. I felt selfish, and then guilty. But these people... Don't exist right?

You know how they say you can't dream about someone if you haven't seen their face? I have never once believed that shit. They also say a dream is a reflection of your day. Again, bull. Pure bull. I would recognize a face like Rachel's. And you can be damn sure yesterday I did not see any little girls aged six to eight like I think Rachel was. Not with that face.

I just... Don't know what to do. I can't shrug off the feeling of being watched, like they are waiting for me to go back to sleep...

Sincerely,

Your Terrified, Dreaming, Wannabe Author, Krystiana.

The Music-Driven Writer

So I mentioned in my last post the titles of the Phoenix Chronicles. And in my very first post, I listed off some characters.

Well, each character and book has a song attached to them. All videos are now linked.

For War of Flames we have the powerful Citizen/Soldier by 3 Doors Down, defining the very tone of the story with it's true words.
For Rise of the Firebird, we have A Hero Comes Home by Idina Menzel. I wish I could tell you why, so badly, but it'd ruin a lot of things. -laughs-
For The Tarnished Princess we have Walk on Water by Basshunter. Something very high energy and will give you a good idea of the emotions you'll feel during the story. Not the remixed version of the song, though. This also sets the pace of the book, so I imagine I'll have to listen to this a lot in the future!

As for characters... Let's start with Ikedo.
For War of Flames? He gets Monster by Skillet, which is actually really shocking if you knew how sweet and innocent he was! (There's always a reason I call him my son.)
Maserai actually gets a harder song for you to find. Hero by Heather Dale.
Da'na... Da'na definitely fits with Strawberry Gashes by Jack Off Jill
Vashian is very blatantly... Okay, so I don't know the name of this song, BUT. I will link you all to it when I get home.
Yio has Shine by L'Arc en Ciel. She's the most air-related one of the bunch, and responds greatly to that song.
Siin has Karma by Kamelot. You'll know why when you hear it.
Keirin currently has no real theme song for the moment.

Ikedo and Maserai also have a bit of a wedding song. This is Fallen Ange by L'Amme immortelle

No other character has a theme song, at the moment. That's for War of Flames at least. I won't cover any of the sequels until long after they're published, most likely. These songs are all just amazing and stunning, and I have even more beautiful ones for other characters!

Also, keep in mind it is storming badly in my area today. I'm liable to be quite terrified.

Sincerely,

Your Music-Driven, Wannabe Author, Krystiana.

The Inspired Writer

I'm sure some of you wonder what inspires me when I sit down to write. To say that it is any one given thing would be a blatant and absurd lie. Some days, I get inspired by music, others can be something like watching the birds.

But primarily, it is the myths and legend that I grew up knowing before I knew the history of the country I lived in. Thus, I bring you to something that strikes my mind. The video game series that I love to pieces. The Legend of Zelda.

Now, why would something like this inspire me? The classic storytelling, the wonderfully developed world that changes each game, indicating a passage of time. (For instance, Skyward Sword, the new one, will be taking place before Ocarina of Time. So we can expect a similar map to Ocarina of Time and Twilight Princess.) Every time I get a glimpse of it, I get on this kick. Not just for it, but to finish my own story.

Which is shocking, seeing as I handed off the Elves to my girlfriend. As well as some gods, the humans, and I think she may have taken some other races...

After the Phoenix chronicles are over, she can take the Dragons. I don't mind. I don't like them. Yet, she knows this is a lie and will easily point it out.

And we have today's musical addiction...

It's possible that will be my main inspiration for the third book in the Phoenix chronicles. (The Tarnished Princess is what I'm thinking for it's title.)

This means we have, for the Phoenix Chronicles...

War of Flames

Rise of the Firebird

The Tarnished Princess

Not bad if I say so myself.

Well, I have to turn in tonight, I'll update this more later...

Sincerely,

Your Inspired, Wannabe Author, Krystiana.

The Star-Crossed Writer

Ever since I was little, I've lover astronomy. This love is easy to see in some of my works even today. It is far too obvious that I love the universe we live in. I can recite legends and facts without thinking about it. To be brutally honest, I am more of a geek for astronomy than I am for anything else.

Save, of course, for my beloved myths and legends. I tend to have both heavily influence my writing. I'll give examples now, in fact.

Why not take Autumn, for instance? Now, for the readers who do not know who Autumn is, I will give a quick explanation. Autumn Eve Trinity is a character, who was created in a strange moment when my beloved girlfriend decided we would start having X-Men roleplays.

Autumn usually starts out in her stories anywhere from twelve to fifteen years old. Sometimes, it takes place when she's still at home in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania. The township, not the city. Her father, Harold Ray, and mother, Trudy, are both church-going people, loyal to the bible, and god-fearing folk. (Of course, Harold is much more complex than he will ever appear to be.) Harold is the CEO and founder of the Trinity Corporation. What in specializes in has never actually been specified, so it's become some kind of joke, I suppose. (Much like the Kukai Foundation in Xenosaga. For real. What do they do?) She has a twin brother named Arthur, and two younger siblings, Timothy and Diana.

Now, while Autumn's father is a mutant himself, he cannot stand mutants. Calls them sins against God. So when poor little Autumn, usually around six or seven years old, starts showing that she has powers, her father goes insane with rage. First, he calmly tries to instill in his daughter that they're bad. This fails and she grows more rebellious, and by the time she hits thirteen, she is downright a daughter from hell. In fact, what she does on her thirteenth birthday sends Harold over the edge.

Under her breasts, just under them, she gets the words "God is Sin" tattooed. Harold finds out about this thanks to his telepathy. In response to this, he takes her to the basement of the church and forever scars her by carving three names into her back. Uriel, Raphael and Gabriel. The names of three angels, chosen for their meanings.

It usually is after this that I like to begin her story, sending her either to the deep south of New Orleans, a place she admires for the almost unrealistic freedom, or the Xavier Institute for obvious reasons.

Now, Autumn is an illusionist. Known, nowadays, as Mistress Myth. (Dear god, that sounds like a stripper name.)

Why, you ask, do I mention her for this? In some variations of Autumn's life, such as a fantasy one I tested out once or twice, she is very in-tune with the cosmos. One thing I was going to try was an entire story taking place in one of her more beautiful illusions, tied in with some mythology about the stars.

But surely, the most powerful of her appearances involving the stars will be in The Arcana. And when I finish, I think you will understand...

And with that in mind, I started The Arcana finally. We kick it off with The Fool.

The Arcana; Issue # 1: 0 The Fool

Please do enjoy, and note the heavy Tarot influence. Each "Issue" will be titled with the name of a card in the Major Arcana, in order. As such, these chapters will also involve a character who represents this piece of the Major Arcana. They are;

O The Fool: Autumn Eve Trinity

I The Magician:Remy LeBeau

II The High Priestess: Emma Frost

III The Empress: Jean Grey

IV The Emperor: Harold Ray Trinity

V The Heirophant: The Thrones.

VI REVERSE The Lovers: Scott Summers and Jean Grey

VII REVERSE The Chariot: Remy LeBeau

VIII The Strength: Autumn Eve Trinity

IX The Hermit: Victor Jullian Braddock

X The Wheel Of Fortune: Storm

XI Justice: Anastasiya Tornincasa

XII The Hanged Man: Autumn Eve Trinity/Remy LeBeau

XIII Death: Harold Ray Trinity/Memento Mori

XIV Temperance: Jean

XV The Devil: Arthur Maxwell Trinity/Timothy Nathaniel Trinity

XVI The Tower: President Kelly

XVII The Star: Autumn Eve Trinity/Diana Michelle Trinity

XVIII The Moon: Andrea Michelle Kendrick

XIX The Sun: The Crew of The Arcana

XX The Judgment: Remy LeBeau/Autumn Eve Trinity

XXI The World: Autumn Eve Trinity

I can't explain to you why I chose who I did. And this isn't to say I won't include other characters. Enjoy the suspense!

Sincerely,

Your Star-Crossed, Wannabe Author, Krystiana.

The Hungry Writer

Ah, yes. What a fitting title for any writer, no? Face it, many of us would much rather by sitting in a restaurant, eating and chatting with old friends. Laughing it up and having a good time. However, our characters do not permit this. Our stories keep us bound like chains to our desk, where the internet offers a new tool to procrastinate.  

And I know, how shameful of me to blog twice in one day.

Or maybe I just think this because I am very hungry at the moment, and just like this morning, the kitchen is much too far away. And, actually, at the moment, I want pizza. But, I can't call a pizza place because no one delivers this far out into the country. Which bites. I could really go for a pizza right now.

And I'm pretty sure I just spent a good ten minutes playing with those fish at the bottom of the screen. This should surprise no one who knows me. I procrastinate, I get distracted, and most importantly, I get very hungry very quickly. And Cajun food just is not cutting it anymore. Mostly because I am almost dead certain I will someday burn a hole in my stomach eating this stuff.

But it is undeniably some of the best food I have ever had in my life. Second only to beignets. Actually, no. Put Cajun food at three, under Torun Gingerbread. 

Actually, I feel very ashamed to say the gingerbread is below beignets. After all, that gingerbread... My god, that gingerbread.

Gingerbread aside! My mind has wandered to another thought. Fantasy writers have to recreate a world. Wait, no. Correction. We create worlds all our own. Born from the abyss of our minds are planets, stars, galaxies, everything you could ever need to become a god-like figure to your creations.

However, with all this, we also have to take food into consideration. Food is one of the things that literally ties people together. Sure, someone may like to read, and someone else may be more of a fighter, but they can always agree, to some extent, about food. It can be the center of a discussion, because we all need it, we all can relate about it. Whether we tell silly stories about what the two year old boy ate, or what fine restaurants we like to eat are.

Some writers pay little attention to food in their stories. I know I am usually very vague. At least with War of Flames, anyway. But I do give a decent basis for you to realize what would be common fare for people to eat. But, really, it's nothing compared to the creator of Moribito. Who wrote a cookbook for her series.

Moribito is a stunning anime and a breathtaking book series by the way. The first novel as well as the complete series are available for purchase on Amazon.com

Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit

Moribito: Guardian of the Spirit Anime Complete Collection

Yes, the books are directed at young children. Did I care when I bought it? No. Because I sat through the whole anime and fell in love. Although, Balsa's similarities to Maserai scare me on some levels. And it should also be noted I am very anxious for the cook book to someday be translated. The food looked so yummy in the anime!

Which, by the way, I've never figured out if I would be more honored should my books get turned into an anime, or a movie. I'm always going to lean towards anime, because I like certain voice actors who have essentially become the very voices of some of the characters.

Such as the man who voices D'Eon du Beaumont in Le Chevalier D'Eon for Ikedo. That is the voice that plays in my head for him, but somehow not for Cain. Although, only one or two people know who Cain is right now, you all will learn when I finish the book. Only a select few people get told the extra details I refuse to include in this blog.

Back on the voice subject, the woman who voiced Balsa is very close, but not exact for what I hear for Maserai. No one is exact, however, and that bothers me. Vashian... Actually, my girlfriend may hate me for who I would dare suggest as his voice. And that would be none other than the man who voiced Schneizel in Code Geass. (Did I spell his name right? I hope so. It always has been hard for me to spell.) Da'na... I'll go with Liam O'Brien there. He has done too many epic roles where you can not pin-point that it's him.

As for dream actors, I have nothing. They may have ideas on who they'd like them to be played by, but I disagree with each of them.

...And I have wandered so far from tonight's original topic. And, damn it. I'm hungry. Screw this, I'm getting food. Good night everyone!

Sincerely,

Your Hungry, Wannabe Author, Krystiana

The Tired Writer

So, to be completely honest, I sit here unprepared to write a blog. Tired, achy, sweatpants and a t-shirt I slept in, clutching a New Orleans Saints teddy bear to my chest. I'm missing the key ingredient to any writer.

The cup of coffee. 

Whether you are a college student writing a paper, or a big hit author churning out your next big hit, you need your coffee or tea when you sit down to write. This is almost like some unwritten rule set in stone for us. This hot drink becomes our very life and essence. We are, in a way, entirely dependent on it for survival. Without it, where would we be?

Still laying in bed, wondering if we will ever pick up the pen again.

Actually, at the moment, I think I really just want an excuse to get tea, but that requires getting up. And the kitchen is all the way on the other end of the house. I'm not moving.

Actually, I quite like just sitting here, listening to the rock music coming from my computer. Simple things like this make days like yesterday, the utter and complete hell that yesterday and the day before were, just melt away into nothing. Books do the same thing. They take you away from the harsh, unforgiving, painful realities of the world and present you with a release. An escape, if I may say.

I can't wait for the day that someone looks to my books for their escape. Someday, I'll get to know it. And every day until then is just another walk through the layers of hell, waiting as my feet burn and blister, my shoulders hunch and ache and my face transforms from that happy, innocent child to a worn and weary adult. But it isn't the cosmetics of this that bother me. It's how my face feels in return.

That aside, I don't know if I'll get any work done today. I'm on chapter twenty, at the moment. As of chapter nineteen, my word count was 60647. Happy indeed. But not as happy as everything will be when that word count reads as 100,000. Then, I may just cry. Actually, I'm fairly certain that my final word count will be more than that.

On top of all my hopes and dreams with this book, I have more worries than you could ever imagine. Will people like it? Are the characters easy to relate to, despite not being human? Are the characters flat to everyone but myself? Do I evoke the right emotions at the right time? And what about the pacing? Is it too swift and confusing?

So many questions, with no answers until the book finds the way to shelf. There are some nights, when I think about this book, I cry myself to sleep. Not worrying about my own future, but these characters I have come to love. This book is their story, and they entrusted me to handle it. To write it and hand it off to the world. Will I have done a good job? Or, at the end of the day, will they mock me inside my head?

I suppose, in a way, Ikedo, Maserai, Vashian and Da'na could all be interpreted as psychotic illusions in my mind born after my mother's death. But I don't care. So what? They are my children, in a way. I've watched them live and grow, and when this book is published I will, as good parents in the real world do, send them out into the world. Of course I will worry if they will sink or swim. Of course I fear that, if they survive the real world and gain a fan following, the fans will do horrifying things to the characters.

(Ikedo, please never forget that I do worry about you. No matter how much I abuse you.)

I do have pictures of Ikedo and Maserai. Pictures I've commissioned from a wonderful artist on deviantArt who goes by the screenname Lumaris. She is truly a sweet person and very fun to talk to. Anyone who wants beautiful rendered artwork should go to her.

Although, at the moment, her commissions are closed indefinitely. If they ever return, I will link to her page. Then you guys can all attack her and give her your money. (I've already spent so much on commissions, but the quality is undeniably amazing. As is the service.)

These would be the pieces I've commissioned so far.

 Ikedo's rough sketch, to give an idea of his design. His wings are so pretty!

 This is a speedpaint of Ikedo and Maserai. The tenderness of this picture has always just blown me away.

 This was actually based on a piece I had written that is completely non-canonical. I always thought Maserai actually looked a little tired, which is good. Because, much like myself, she is always tired. And also, I love her boots to bits.

Maserai's rough sketch. I love the textured appeal. And, again. I love those boots. They're sexy. And no one comment about the cape deal going on there. It looks wonderful.


Okay, now that you all have met the two heroes, I would love to have been able to show you the two villains, but... I never ordered commissions of them. And this isn't even discussing characters like Siin, Keirin, Kuroi, Higishi, Jigosu, Yio and all the others!


I do love each character just as much as the least, though. I'm also working on a little guide for myself and my beautiful girlfriend who is helping me with this series. The whole series in itself is called The History of Cruor. The set these characters are from is from the Phoenix History, which will, as far as I know, consist of three or four books. After I finish them, I'm going to be working on writing the very beginning of Cruor's history, which involves the gods of the world. 

Each set of books will have something for adults, teenagers and children. I want people to be able to read about Cruor no matter their age or reading level. Of course, the children's books will be supervised and written by my girlfriend, for which I am eternally grateful. And, because of this, I know nothing going on with those books. And I'm totally fine with it.

That's all for today, I think. So, until next time!

Sincerely,

Your Tired, Wannabe Author, Krystiana.